do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
