This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
