saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
i drank out of a bidet.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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