yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
