someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
