I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
