Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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