I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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