I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
