Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
