Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Randomize
