I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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