so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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