i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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