Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
