yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
