It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
