i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
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