he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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