I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
