FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
