I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
It was confusing and full of hummus
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
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