So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
vagina is talking i cant
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
