i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
