cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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