Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
