Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
This gyro tastes like lonliness
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Randomize
