i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
