Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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