Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
