All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
