You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
the gays at disneyland are vicious
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
