I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Randomize
