Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
