If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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