he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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