Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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