"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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