Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
