mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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