mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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