So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
