so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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