after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
