i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
