I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Naked. naked and bneed help.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
