I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Randomize
