Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Randomize
