Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
40s are totally the cure
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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