did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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