You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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