17 year olds will be the death of me.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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