walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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