i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
